KING of the UNITED STATES

We enjoy pillaging your wallet within a place enjoying the most wondrous absence of prosecution. The liberty we enjoy whilst pirating you is a grand thing. Our port of call… aye, is Delaware.

As the captain, I just wanted to publicly thank me mates in this great rogue state of Delaware, for allowin’ our pirate ways to be welcome — aye — even LEGAL in their port. Without ye, we could not be.

Pirates are so hot hot hot! Ever since Johnny Depp churned out some Pirates of the Caribbean blockbusters, the public has fallen utterly in love with the ale imbibing, “arg” spoutin’, lavishly alt-rock dressed pirate.

Recent high-profile news of daredevil Somali pirates (illuminating what is actually a fairly trendy situation off that coast) has shown the lengths people will go to to play pirate today. Imagine; stealing tanks from Putin’s Russia. That takes balls, folks. But that’s how fun the pirate lifestyle is! Yo ho, yo ho; a pirate’s life for me!