KING of the UNITED STATES

After numerous years of pretending to be the nation’s crack bulldog/watchdog/hardball-playin’ journalistic purist; our hard-hitting analyst of all flawed transgressors has completely tinkled his tingling leg. He is now the CONFESSED advocate and INSURER of presidential success.

Mathews, do you have any self-respect, or is this all a calculated pitch to crawl up to a staff position in Obama’s administration?; I’m afraid you would embarrass the man, and you would definitely cast profound doubt on his administration’s judgment. Myself, I will never allow your name to enter a conversation in my company without peels of laughter and ridicule of your infamous impressions of preteen girls backstage at a Jonas brother’s concert. 

It is one thing to be biased, it is another to be fully in the tank, but it is yet altogether another level to be on your knees in a puddle of your own self excited puppy pee. You are no longer simply an embarrassment to journalism, you have become an embarrassment to masculinity

Moron mothership, time to beam the little boy up.