KING of the UNITED STATES

I am the captain of a pirate bank

I am the captain — of a scurvy lot;  I run me a rogue credit card bank.  

We enjoy pillaging your wallet within a place enjoying the most wondrous absence of prosecution.  The liberty we enjoy whilst pirating you is a grand thing.  Our port of call… aye, is Delaware.

As the captain, I just wanted to publicly thank me mates in this great rogue state of Delaware, for allowin’ our pirate ways to be welcome — aye — even LEGAL in their port.  Without ye, Delaware, we could not be.

Aye, we’ve even been ‘lowed to construct a legal contract for our piracy.  Delaware is grand!  For truly, it is not a contract all — but a license by our grand state, to be a pirate.  We are enjoying the legalized ability to rob ye poor slobs.  We have written many new darlin’ sea-shanties celebratin’ the beloved 30% interest rate the “law” permits us to crush you with. We particularly love the ability to construct a legal-bindin’ CONTRACT that gives us the right to change ANY terms at ANY time for ANY reason we want!! That be OUR kind o’ contract! I probably don’t need to tell ye, it’s a lovely arrangement for us.

So, I’d just like, again, to thank me allies — and those runnin’ the lawless states which make my life possible.

A toast of ale!  To the great pirate state… of Delaware.  

And three cheers for their pirate-toleratin’ governors and senators!

Senators… like Joe Biden.

Three Pirate cheers!