KING of the UNITED STATES

Pirates are so hot hot hot! Ever since Johnny Depp churned out some Pirates of the Caribbean blockbusters, the public has fallen utterly in love with the ale imbibing, “arg” spoutin’, lavishly alt-rock dressed pirate.

Recent high-profile news of daredevil Somali pirates (illuminating what is actually a fairly trendy situation off that coast) has shown the lengths people will go to to play pirate today. Imagine; stealing tanks from Putin’s Russia. That takes balls, folks. But that’s how fun the pirate lifestyle is! Yo ho, yo ho; a pirate’s life for me!

The members of the seventies rock band “Heart”™®©☺♥♫, have contacted me and ordered me to cease and desist references to heart, hearts, internal organs, passion, and deep feelings. The law firm representing the band have further explained (in no uncertain terms) that having years ago legally secured the full rights to the term “Heart”™®©☺♥♫, the band owns all associated rights to the same, with regard to the realm of its application and use both domestically and internationally.

the child in his own stage of sophistication, most have a system of filtering the many words, separating the valid from the invalid. The invalid words are instantly classified as noise, and are not processed as words; but dismissed as wavelength-murmurings from adult morons. The key breaking point for this distinction between valid and invalid, seems to be the existence of a loud commercial concerning the topic. If there’s not even ONE commercial screaming about the excellence and huge popularity of some issue or concern, then it isn’t an issue or concern, it never was; It can’t possibly be.

The heart sisters want to define who is allowed to play their product at a party. If the RNC organizers paid for the broadcast/reproduction/public performance rights of the song — what ethical pretzel twists allows prohibition of the usage of these purchased rights. Is this limited to politics? Can we restrict those of a faith, creed, color, or age group as well? How about gender?

The lingering memory that blew my mind though; that I will never forget (along with many other dramatic memories); was on the days leading up to the hurricane’s arrival. We all knew it was coming; the experts repeated the refrain for days. But in the streets, the reporters would put their microphones in front of the happy-go-lucky denizens of jazz town, who would explain with a laugh that, “Hell no, we’re not leaving.” Then they would give a thumbs-up, or some other dopey symbol of contempt for danger. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, it has been said; perhaps Katrina felt scorned. The hubris of those who intended to “party through it” was mind-boggling.

As the mediums and technology used to enjoy our music, television, and film collections race rapidly forward, we too must move in sync to keep from slipping into the realm of the obsolete.

Is there anyone who actually means it when they say they want equality? I’m not sure I believe it anymore. In an ironic twist, most people I know (having lived for quite awhile in Illinois) are exhaustingly bleeding heart, and use the term “equality” to invoke sympathetic endorsements (and “yes, yes” chants from the audience) regarding affirmative-action, [...]

 ~Illegal immigration and steak~
I want to close the open doors and windows which allow uninvited neighbors and strangers to enter my house. I don’t care if they clean my bathroom (a job I don’t want to do), they’re not invited and I don’t want them to enter.
Is that hatred? If we concede, as we truly [...]

Where does this data come from that’s constantly inferred in the recitation of an apparently understood truism - that “most of these illegal immigrants are good, hard-working people”.
I’m not saying it’s not possible. I’m not even saying it’s not probable. But where’s the data that permits us to accept this automatically? How can this “statistical [...]

Throughout the entire world Hollywood disseminates and aggressively distributes endless streams of gratuitous sex, gratuitous violence, uber-edgy behavior, drug use, and psychopathic insanity. All in the name of entertainment… but in the PURSUIT of extreme greed for wealth. The irony, arrogance, and hypocrisy are stunning.

Sorry; I have officially lost patience — with all of it. I’m having my Howard Beal moment. I’m so sick of the crap… “I’m mad as hell…” blah, blah, blah…
I have officially lost the ability to swallow the presidential candidates, the pontificators, the proponents, the parties themselves, the government were electing them to, American idol, [...]

Pieces of our heritage and vocabulary are being pilfered and co-opted beneath our noses.  A recent blog attempt of mine was rejected on a site for my use of the phrase “queer arrangement” (As in “peculiar arrangement”).  So we can’t even use the term queer anymore as an adjective describing something odd or peculiar?
This is [...]

At its core, Tipping is a long-term, evolving trend; which changes over time and location.
In the U.S., the trend has grown into a Frankenstein’s monster. Worse than the discovery that the monster has the brain of a deranged thief, we find the monster has escaped and is violently running amuck through our village. This trend [...]

Over the past week (Apr 16 - 23) eleven Americans were killed in the nation of Iraq¹, While in the city of Chicago, over the weekend alone, 32 were shot and 2 Stabbed, leaving 7 Dead. 20 were shot in less than 24 hours. On April 23, 5 more were killed in a South Side [...]

In the wonderful classic film “Miracle on 34th Street”, the young janitor Alfred (who loves to play Santa clause), is counseled by the repressed and ugly psychiatrist, Dr. Sawyer; who informs Alfred that his delusion of playing Santa in order to enjoy seeing children smile is actually an illness. He describes this illness as a [...]

What have we citizens lost?
I’m not talking about 40 years ago, and I’m not talking about 40 years from now; but in the present, the term freedom is frequently an illusion.
I am not talking about Bush and the Patriot Act. Yes, there is shrill noise across the globe complaining about wild losses in our civil [...]

HOW DID MANKIND SURVIVE??
In the youngest days of man’s rise to dominance on this earth, how did we escape being exterminated — how did we escape becoming snack food of the lions, bears, and sabertooth tigers?
Before our defensive weapons were significant, being found and located by major predators would have been almost inescapably bad. Especially [...]

Ironic content floats to the surface of The Magic Candidate’s campaign and his wondrously shiny oratory masterpiece.

Barack Obama is a black man. But his mother is white…So how much “black” does it require to befit this title or status? Does ANY strain of black blood raise one to this stature? If the cradle of civilization [...]